1. |
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I’ve been feeling somewhat strange
But I’m coming back alive, down low
And the looks are all the same
Painted strangers like my dreams, where I know
That I ain’t got nowhere left to go
And I’m spinning out again
Won’t you come around my friend
A familiar exchange
And love’s got a hold on me, let it end
Looking out over lifeless sea
The ripples verge on loveless waves once again
But I ain’t got nowhere left to go
Feeling swept along way down the road, pull me in
And a stranger now I’ve been before
A load of cracked old numbered locks ignored
Hold my hand now darling don’t let me fade
I see the fire raging it lacks my shame
As smoke begins to call me by my name
Take me down along the water it’s all the same
You’re not a rival heart to me
But it’s guarded, locked, and trapped inside
Golden silhouettes I see
I fear it’s all crumbling to dust before my eyes
But you ain’t got nowhere left to go
A bitter wind like ghosts coming far too close my friend
The cold laid out and I feel it too
A holy calm I see inside of you
Hold my hand now darling don’t let me fade
I see the fire raging it lacks my shame
As smoke begins to call me by my name
Take me down along the water it’s all the same
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2. |
Haunted
04:43
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There was something you said
But I can’t ask you again
To lay it down and let me in
While I drift on and on
But forever’s too brief
And please, don’t you ask me again
To belong as a friend
When you’re letting me go
So please throw me a line while I long
Feels like it’s pulling too strong
I forgot what you sang in that song
Euridyce please
Won’t you lead me down
Promise I won’t turn around
‘Til the light blend with the sound
A lyre inside I hold
But my feet touch the ground
Allow me to hold what surrounds
As if all around I allow
So please throw me a line while I long
Feels like it’s pulling too strong
I forgot what you sang in that song
That the breeze comes over too slow
I’m alright in the grass ‘cause I know
The soil from which we grow follows
Now the past drifts into your eyes
Haunted by the lights as they rise
Above what’s realized
But no more a fool that I could ever be
Haunted by a dream as I slip
Away from broken streams
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3. |
Once Before
03:52
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I’ve said it once before, my heart is too along
Been stumblin’ through this road of mine that’s paved in cobbled stone
But I need you here tonight, help unleash my holy ghost
I need a hand to hold my soul up, that’s what I need most
Finally you know that you don’t have to go
I hope you feel my heartbeat, that it’s not turned to stone
But if it has been so, light a fire that burns it slow
I’ve got a dollar you can spend so I don’t spend it alone
Walking ‘round on Bryan street, I ain’t got no chance to leave
Feeling weight of all the hurt that I’ve caused no chance of sweet relief
But I need the circular sense of reality that’s cursed
I’ve got some love that I hold on to, the smoke is always worse
When it burns under my eyes, and it ain’t no big surprise
‘Cause it follows wherever I go but it’s hard to realize
That is sums me up to size, take away my haunting lies
I’ll let it go when I get home so I can fantasize
And it’s thoughts like this that break me
Spin me ‘round pick me up and shake me
I’ve got life and I ain’t complaining
I’ll cradle up and it might just save me
I’ve said it once before, my heart is too alone
Feel colors fade and feelings swell to a land of great unknown
And metaphorically I wish that I could see
But I like this more, unlock my door and throw away the key
But I’ve got you in my sight, take away this blinding light
I’d like to see your smiling face black-lit by stars tonight
I’ll eat up all my pride, let you dive down deep inside
‘Cause I ain’t got no more good reasons, none more left to hide
And it’s thoughts like this that break me
Spin me ‘round pick me up and shake me
I’ve got life and I ain’t complaining
I’ll cradle up and it might just save me
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4. |
As Cain Was to Abel
03:13
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Biting my tongue it’s all raw from this song
And it’s running right away from me
But everything all at once breaking waves as they come
I find it hard to even find a key
Now all I need is some relief peering cold and obscene
It goes as fast as it colors my dreams
I’m slipping farther away another break in my day
I’ll crash sometimes and it’s smoking like me
But I’ll hold on I see you need some kind of a change
And I said I’d burn the book but it broke my heart to hear you explain
As Cain was to Abel I’m a form of a slave
My life’s been tossed around like I didn’t care
And I’d roll right on believing holding tight to misconceiving
A sentence served as I light it and stare
Translucent gripping air a feeling caught and domineered
I find it hard to step out of this dream
But unrelated is the truth and it’s ashing and bruised
Find me waiting right beside what I need
But I’ll hold on I see you need some kind of a change
And I said I’d burn the book but it broke my heart to hear you explain
I felt it in your voice and it felt like mine was shaking the same
The cards are faded on the table turned to fables but you’re calling my name
And I keep holding on but sometimes it’s just the smell of the rain
That burns the pages torn and it broke my heart to see you this way
I crumbled in your hands through your fingers but I never was whole
The table is turned showing cards they don’t look right but your calling my name
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5. |
Dripping Flames
04:55
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So alone, come on tell me where you’re going
I once thought, but that was so far from what I was showing
I guess I don’t blame you for what you’re doing
Won’t you please leave the tracks since now it’s snowing
But we never lined up like we hoped
That’s my fault I guess now I know
I couldn’t love you the way I wished I could
Broken withdrawn, I guess it was all just smoke
You said something but I could not relate
Broken bottles remnants of my latest escape
Could you hold me know since I’ve come undone
I was hoping we weren’t there yet but now you’re gone
But we never lined up like we hoped
That’s my fault I guess now I know
I couldn’t love you the way I wished I could
Broken withdrawn, I guess it was all just smoke
Since it’s all crumbled down to stones
Walk with me by blazing embers alone
Breaking the orbit I’ve gone too far to come home
But we never lined up like we hoped
That’s my fault I guess now I know
I couldn’t love you the way I wished I could
Broken withdrawn, I guess it was all just smoke
And I was dreaming just the other day
That your blue eyes were dripping flames
But I think I knew then what I somewhat know now
I just couldn’t love you I wish I knew how
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6. |
Ghost Town
06:04
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This heart I’m running to breaks through this stone
I’ve let go of it all except my bones
So let it sail away it’s breaking waves I’d say, I’m home
If it only made some sense I’d write it down
And less a fool I’d be to make no sound
But I’ll keep the orbit straight as long as you orchestrate aloud
I feel for once it’s not something longed
Not something haunting and pulling me along
You’ll break out that heart and I’ll sing a song
It’s lifting me up to where I belong
Floating ‘round eternity it’s always been
Etched dark in stone yet washed away with the wind
I clutch to all I see yet let it drift through my dreams and it won’t end
I feel for once it’s not something longed
Not something haunting and pulling me along
You’ll break out that heart and I’ll sing a song
It’s lifting me up to where I belong
Now I feel it all, it all at once
Build up inside, in line for so long
I’ll set me free, I’ll say I tried
Spin out again, I swear to god I never lied, but that’s a lie I’ve let survive
Reflecting through stained glass, a shattered scale
I’ve been worse off since fighting tooth and nail
Roll out my fated plans, I’ll hand them to the wind but I’ll fail
This heart i’m running to breaks through this stone
I’ve let go of it all except my bones
But that was all a dream run by my clock it seems, and I’m alone
I feel for once it’s not something longed
Not something haunting and pulling me along
You’ll break out that heart and I’ll sing a song
It’s lifting me up to where I belong
Now I feel it all, it all at once
Build up inside, in line for so long
I’ll set me free, I’ll say I tried
Spin out again, I swear to god I never lied, but that’s a lie I’ve let survive
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7. |
Lopsided Heart
05:55
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I couldn’t bring myself to ask for forgiveness
Or allow myself strength to carry on
But after the smoke clears I’ll find my way back
The simplest form I’ll write in this song
Strike me down my friend I’ve got too much to say
A lopsided heart I hold in my chest
But after the wind dies let it echo in the hall
Find me gazing like the rest
Please ignore my mind it’s far too loud now
There’s no other way you’ll come around
All I ever wanted was all I’ve ever seen
Singular rationale it seems
Darkness feels like it’s lurking ‘round every corner
A comforting friendship I still hold
And nevermind that I call him by his first name
I’ll send him out into that cold
Please ignore my mind it’s far too loud now
There’s no other way you’ll come around
All I ever wanted was all I’ve ever seen
Singular rationale it seems
And how can it be that everything fades
But leaves a trace out of sight
And how can it be that I’m no longer doubtful
That nothing ever dies, ever dies
Please help me I’m blind it’s far too cloudy now
The air is so damp and full of sound
All I ever wanted was all I’ve ever seen
A singular rationale it seems
All I ever wanted was someone to believe
And sing all these love songs to me
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8. |
Abstraction
05:02
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My desired eloquence is driven by atmosphere
Anxious to round a square
And a fiend for all at once, a timid galiance I hold
But still I’m never there
I’ve been striking fires but I never seemed to like them
A reservoir that cracks and starts the flood
Ritualize the act I only wish that I could
As the conflict deepens I’m a fool for all I see
Guarded locked and I’m trapped, I no longer seem to need
All I want is to open, bleed as freely as the sea
But I’m haunted by all, loved and free I’ll never be
Unadulterated dreams, I’m a fool to think I’m whole
Ever lurking around my soul
Engulfed in the violent void I’ve got a gorgeous tragedy
All I want but unable to be
The lights are out but the desperate fuse is lost now
Abstracted by my loneliness to cling
Ideals pulled by the thoughts I wished that I’d sing
As the divide creeps in, I’m in love with all I see
Guarded locked and I’m trapped, I can never find the key
All I need is to frequent, thunder seems to stop the bleed
But I’m still haunted by all, loved and free I’ll always be
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9. |
Rawlins to Laramie
07:25
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Thought I’d sail all my worries on down the road
But it’s a cowboy land I’ve always been told
I guess they knew it was all too good to be
And now I’m stalled out in that Wyo cold
I’m drinking bottle by bottle held up in that square
A femme fatal I dragged through my despair
I thought those demons were all now dead and gone
But now they cling to me as they steal my air
It was Rawlins to Laramie
For the sake of life I just can’t see
And both the angels and demons reach out for me
And now I’m rollin’ down the road to Laramie
Disillusioned, broken, raw and I’m on my way
Engulfed in drowning my shame I’ll tuck it all away
Visions of it all bleed into my soul
But alas you’re much too far away
Gravity pulls me back to life
And I’m haunted by why I can’t see light
The devil’s knocking down doors screaming let me in
I guess he made some new points and now he’s here tonight
So it’s out the door to see my Irish friend
She lives across the lot, a pseudo Tucky grin
And I’ll crawl if I have to there’s too much pain
I see Atlantis now won’t you take me in
Living bottle by bottle a rattle at my door
A saving grace I’m bathed in a loving glow
But all I can do is just bury my head
I’ve been imploding so long I’m buried in the snow
Now step by step and cry after cry
I look around but it’s hazy and I can’t see why
I’m so convinced to end up dead and gone
But I’ll breathe it all out into that sunburnt sky
It was Rawlins to Laramie
I pulled the curtains ‘cross my eyes so I just wouldn’t see
And both the angels and demons reach out for me
But now I’m rolling down the road to SLC
So it’s out the door to take one hard look
I lived in motionless fire not left unshook
And I’ll crawl if I have to there’s too much pain
I’ll don a cloak of fear and rise out of ash and soot
But it was Rawlins to Laramie
Where I’d find a love, I just couldn’t see
And Broken bottle by bottle I shattered by heart
But I stumbled down the road back to SLC
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Alex Wintersmith Lackey Salt Lake City, Utah
Alex Wintersmith Lackey is a Salt Lake native who's been playing in bands across instruments and genres for 12+ years. This is his first official solo endeavor releasing an album abstractly themed around mental health and substance abuse. Alex is the sole songwriter and performer on this album. ... more
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